“If I catch myself wearing a too-too (too fat, too late, too old), let me shake it off like a donkey would shake off something it doesn’t like.”
That’s a line from Ze Frank’s “Invocation for Beginnings” video. I first watched it almost two years ago, on my friend Lisa’s recommendation. I thought it was really well done, but didn’t really get it emotionally. I didn’t let it sink in.
That was until about four months ago, when I went back to watch it again, and again, and again. I’ve probably watched it a hundred times since, and I keep going back to it every few days, until I’ve squeezed out and swallowed every bit of juice it has for me. If you haven’t seen it yet, take three minutes and watch it now. I’ll wait.
I love how he admits he’s scared. We’re all scared. I’m scared every day. I’m scared right now, just writing this post. Fear is normal when we step outside the familiar, when we even think of leaving our rut.
Feeling fear isn’t the problem, it’s what you do with it that really matters. I used to let fear rule my life, now I just acknowledge it, and push through to do what I’m committed to doing. I use fear as fuel.
“This is an invocation for anyone who hasn’t begun, who’s stuck in a terrible place between zero and one.”
That’s a dangerous place to be. I’d rather be at zero, where I can hit bottom and start over. I’ve been there, I know I can come back from there.
In that no man’s land between zero and one, I just stay stuck. Now I have the opportunity to decide every day – do I want to live today in fear – zero, or faith – one. Do I want to spend my day criticizing – zero, or do I want to create – one? These days I try to always choose the ones.
Are you stuck in life? Are you afraid to go after your dreams? Are you working insane hours, pushing the boulder of your boss’s dreams up a steep hill, only to find that when you get to the top, there’s another boulder or another hill? Ever wonder why that is, or are you too busy to even think about things like that, or too afraid to think big about your possibilities?
“If I catch myself wearing a too-too (too fat, too late, too old), let me shake it off like a donkey would shake off something it doesn’t like…”
We wear a lot of too-too’s in life. They constrict us. They keep us stuck in our comfortable little rut. Unwilling to fail, we don’t even try. I can find a bunch of too-too’s this very minute, too-too’s that would keep me from doing something as simple and pure as writing this post right now.
- “I’m too busy to write; I have too much to do!”
- “Too much has already been written about this stuff; nobody will read this!”
- “I’m too late! That video was released years ago!”
- “My writing is too boring, nobody will like it!”
Our minds take us to bad neighborhoods and leave us there, alone. I’m just not willing to cower in that dark corner of my mind any longer. When my mind hands me these thoughts, I just acknowledge them, watch them on that interior screen nobody else sees, and then let them go. I don’t let my mind stop me. I let it push me. I keep going.
I’m writing this post because I promised myself I would, with no expectations beyond that. Then, I’ll just do the next right thing, because I choose to live my life in faith, not out of fear. Everyday I want to live more life. Never less.
Faith and action are my way to shake off my too-toos, and not let them take over my life. How about you?