Do you want to be scared or… free? Scared or… rich? Scared or… extraordinary?
If you’re sick of being “scared” and truly ready for what’s on the other side of fear… this interview might just change your life. And I don’t say that lightly.
This conversation with Emily Williams has profoundly affected my life and “flipped the switch” on how I view money, freedom and even fear itself.
Wondering who Emily is? She’s a success coach, entrepreneur, and author with a seven-figure business, who at one point, couldn’t get a job at Starbucks… and she has an uncanny ability to make complicated “money concepts” really simple and actionable!
As I was listening back to this interview and reflecting on my conversation with Emily, I was reminded of something that Nelson Mandela once said:
“Money won’t create success, the freedom to make it will.”
Emily is a great example of someone who followed her dreams and created a successful life of freedom… and has helped so many others do the same.
OK — ready to deconstruct Emily Williams’ success? Let’s go!
Some of the big things you’ll learn from Emily in this inspiring and tactical interview are:
- Emily’s approach to changing your relationship with money and the exact steps she took to transform $120,000 of debt into a thriving 7-figure business….
- How to ‘flip the switch’ and turn OFF your negative thoughts and insecurities about making money…
- The ‘Why Not Me Mentality’ that you can use to turn your yearly salary into a monthly paycheck…
- The ‘Positive Money Mindset’ that will allow you to overcome the shame and fear that comes with being rejected….
- How to quit playing the victim and start believing in yourself so that YOU can accomplish anything…
We’ll cover all of that (and a lot more) in this exclusive interview with Emily Williams in Episode #13!
- Get it on iTunes.
- Stream by clicking here.
- Download as an MP3 by right-clicking here and choosing “Save As.”
5 Big Questions I Ask Emily in Our Interview:
- After a series of low paying jobs that left you feeling bored and stuck, you decided to follow your heart, move to London (where you knew nobody), wrote a book, and built an extremely successful coaching business. How did you go from not earning a dime to dreaming big and eventually making a 7-figure salary?
- You mentioned you were in a holding pattern, just waiting for your life to catch up to your dreams. You’ve worked as a nanny, matchmaker, virtual assistant, and various roles that weren’t serving you. How did you mentally make that leap and start believing that you were meant to do so much more with your life?
- What role does gratitude play in your life and how can it help others achieve more money and success?
- Having climbed your way out of $30,000 of credit card debt and $90,000 of student loans, what steps can someone take (who is in over their head, swimming in debt, feeling shame, fear and anxiety), to overcome the negative money mindset and start living the life of their dreams?
- You have this “why not me?” approach to living. How can people who are listening make decisions based on where they want to be, rather than from where they currently are?
5 Big Things You’ll Learn in This Episode:
- Emily’s approach to changing your relationship with money and the exact steps she took to transform $120,000 of debt into a thriving 7-figure business.
- How to ‘flip the switch’ and turn OFF your negative thoughts and insecurities about making money
- The ‘Why Not Me Mentality’ that you can use to turn your yearly salary into a monthly paycheck.
- The Positive Money Mindset that will allow you to overcome the shame and fear that comes with being rejected.
- How to quit playing the victim and start believing in yourself so that YOU can accomplish anything!
5 Fast Facts About Emily Williams:
- Emily Williams is a success coach, entrepreneur, and author with a seven-figure business, who at one point, couldn’t get a job at Starbucks.
- In 2010, she moved to London and started writing. And in 2014, she launched her business. She made $442 the first month—and hit six figures in six months. Inside of 18 months, she hit seven figures—a meteoric rise that would be impressive for anyone, let alone a small-town girl from Ohio.
- Today, she coaches women all over the world, helping them break with their false backstories and flawed money mindsets that hold their goals hostage and keep them from moving forward with their dreams.
- Emily has been featured in many notable publications such as Business Insider, the Huffington Post, and Collective Hub, among others.
- Emily came up with the idea of I Heart My Life after enrolling in Marie Forleo’s B-School. She had to pay the $2000 program price in installments because she didn’t have the money.
Complete Show Notes:
- Find out what Emily does for a living and how it’s empowering women around the world to better understand money, success and online business!
- How exactly did Emily (a psychology major) push past the ‘comparison hangover’ and claw her way out of $120,000 of debt? TIP: If she can do it, so can you!
- Emily shares the moment when her life completely shifted gears (both literally and figuratively) and the single most important factor that allowed her to keep moving forward when everything was falling apart.
- She lived in an apartment the size of a closet, had to borrow money from her Dad to survive, and was in a holding pattern waiting for her life to catch up to her dreams. How did she make the leap from nothing to a 7-figure business owner, despite having no belief in herself?
- Learn how to ‘flip the switch’ and turn your negative thoughts and insecurities into positivity that will fuel your success!
- The power of gratitude and how shifting your perspective from lack to abundance can completely transform your life.
- Learn how to use jealousy as a tool to follow your passion, find clarity, and conquer the seemingly impossible.
- The ‘Why Not Me Mentality’ that YOU can use to turn your yearly salary into a monthly paycheck.
- You can play the ‘business guessing game’ (and land little to no clients) OR you can hire a coach who’s already been there. Find out why investing in yourself and hiring a coach is the best way to fast-track your success!
- Discover the Abundance Mentality and Positive Money Mindset that will allow you to overcome the shame and fear that comes with being rejected.
- What can you do if you your debt is piling up around you and the overwhelm of having to pay it off starts to kick in and consume your life? HINT: This 1 simple tip can be implemented today and will completely remove any negative emotions around money.
- Emily reveals the first step towards transforming your negative relationship with money into getting anything you want in life.
- Who are you hanging out with? Learn how to develop an accountability support system that will enable you to live the life of your dreams. And guess what? It doesn’t have to be expensive :)
- How can you escape the victim mind-trap, quit feeling sorry for yourself, and believe that YOU have what it takes to accomplish ANYTHING.
- Emily let’s you in on her daily money ritual and her money mantra tips that will allow you to afford anything you desire.
- Why your success is limited BIG TIME if you’re indulging on negative thoughts.
- Learn how to break up with your fear so you can follow your heart and take control of your destiny. HINT: Emily issues a challenge that will push you to ‘Just f-ing do it!’
- Emily shares the books that have had the biggest impact on her life.
Links Mentioned in This Episode:
- I Heart My Life
- I Heart My Life Programs
- Make Every Man Want You by Marie Forleo
- Oprah Winfrey
- Northwestern University
- The Happiness Centre
- Laura Belgray
- The Science of Getting Rich by Wallace D. Wattles
- The Desire Map by Danielle LaPorte
- BIg Magic and Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert
- The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari by Robin Sharma
- The Big Leap by Gay Hendricks
- The Motivation Manifesto and The Charge by Brendon Burchard
- Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill
- How Rich People Think by Steve Siebold
Learn More About Emily:
TranscriptClick Here to Read the Transcript
|Chris:||All right. Emily Williams. Thank you so much for being here. It is so great to finally connect and talk and we went back and forth a lot and we made it, we did it. Thank you for you for being here.|
|Emily Williams:||We did it. Apparently, we’re both really busy people.|
|Chris:||Yeah. Let me ask you, when someone ask you what do you do, what do you tell them?|
|Emily Williams:||I tell them, I’m a success and money coach and I help women around the world create online businesses.|
|Chris:||When you used to tell somebody, you’re a success and money coach and it say it’s somebody who has no idea what that means, how do you explain it? How do you really dive into that to show them what you really do?|
|Emily Williams:||Yeah. I mean, most people know a little bit about what’s possible in terms of building a business online so I basically just say, I work with women who have the dream of working for themselves and creating an online service based business like a coach or a consultant or a mentor or a speaker. I take them from having nothing to getting their website up, getting their marketing going, getting their message out there, helping them with their photo shoot, literally everything from the start to getting them self online working with clients.|
|Chris:||Is your background- did you come from a lot of success and money to become a coach or was it the opposite?|
|Emily Williams:||When I was growing up, I grew up with entrepreneurs all around me. My dad and my grandpa, both my grandpas were entrepreneurs so I have that kind of in my blood but no. I mean, I was a psychology major. I thought I was going to go and get a masters and that was going to be that and I mean, when I started my business, I was $30,000 in credit card debt and $90,000 in student loans. I did not start off having a ton of money.|
|Chris:||You grew up where, because I know you live in London now but you grew up in …|
|Chris:||Okay, so all right, you started your business so what were the- one of the things that we’re going to talk about a lot later on where I’ve been so impressed with your work is around like the money mindset and these limiting beliefs and things but how did you grow up, so what were some of the way that you thought about money or success growing up within your background?|
|Emily Williams:||Yeah, totally great question. I feel like my parents did an incredible job instilling in the fact that I could do anything I wanted with my life but there was a point where I decided to be a little bit safe. I always knew I wanted to start my own business, didn’t have the clarity around what that was so I thought, “Okay, well, let’s go the psychology route and I’ll go and get a masters and start my practice and that will be that.” I had a pretty healthy money mindset growing up. One of the things that I would say, maybe wasn’t as healthy was I had a lot of shame around any sort of debt. When I got out of school with tons of credit card debt, for me, that was something that was really difficult to move past and to not beat myself up over.|
|All in all, my childhood was pretty healthy but it was when I was in my 20s that I really started to struggle. I was in a grad school program, I was writing a book, I had moved from Ohio to London on a whim and had to try and make this happen for myself and ended up taking out student loans and credit card debt and all of that to like basically live in London so that’s kind of where I was when I started my business.|
|Chris:||Yeah, so let’s talk about that so actually two things I want to pack a bit. First you were talking about the shame around debt and what did that look like or feel like to you? What are those thoughts that came up?|
|Emily Williams:||Yeah. For me, it was things like, I’m never going to pay off these student loans. It was such a weight on my shoulders and I felt like there were something wrong with me. I graduated at the top of my class. I was all set to go to Northwestern to get a psychology degree and then when I changed my mind, I felt like everything crumbled beneath me and I had no clue what I was doing. It’s just that, I think a lot of 20 somethings, even 30 somethings find them self in that place. You feel like you had it all mapped out and then things didn’t turn out the way you expected and there is a lot of shame and confusion there.|
|Yeah, I felt like something was wrong with me because I had all of this accumulated debt and I wasn’t free as I saw my high school friends on Facebook buying houses, and getting cars and having kids and whatever and there was a major comparison hangover there. Yeah, it was just not a fun time.|
|Chris:||What’s the comparison hangover? I love that. I think I know what you mean but-|
|Emily Williams:||Yeah, I think Marie Forleo, I think she’s the one who taught me that. It’s basically, I mean, just like a hangover that you would get from alcohol. It doesn’t feel too god but it’s when you’re constantly comparing yourself to other people and that’s when that shame or that I’m not good enough or they have everything that I want sets in and there can be a lot of jealousy as well.|
|Chris:||Something I read where it says, after a series of low paying jobs that left her feeling bored and stuck, she decided she, being you, she had to follow her heart so she started to dream big about moving to London where she knew no one, writing a book which she wasn’t sure anyone would read and launching her own coaching business without knowing if she could earn a dime and people told her she wasn’t realistic. How do you all of a sudden go from that to then dreaming big like it’s such a- and I think I have a feeling of what you’re talking about but that’s like, it’s almost a huge overnight shift. What kind of sparked that? How do you go from A to jumping to Z almost, mentally?|
|Emily Williams:||Yeah, for me, it has to do with something that’s a huge part of my brand, your heart. This is another Marie Forleo quote that I love. She always said, “Clarity comes from engagement, not from thinking about it.” I heard that years ago and do you want me to repeat it?|
|Chris:||No, I don’t want you to repeat it, that’s- so engagement meeting, doing rather than just thinking. Okay.|
|Emily Williams:||Rather than thinking about it, yeah and I figured that out. I’ll just share a little bit more about that time period. I mean, I got out of college, thought I was going to go and get a masters at Northwestern, was literally driving there and felt in the pit of my stomach and in my heart that it wasn’t the right decision. I turned the car around. My mom was with me and she saw me crying and we decided to turn the car around and went back to Ohio and that’s when everything started to kind of fall apart for me because I no longer have that plan but I knew in my gut, in my heart that something wasn’t right and so I chose to follow that. That’s like the common thread throughout my journey, is just going with my gut.|
|Even if I don’t know how I’m going to do something or what it’s going to look like or how it’s going to work out, I have a tendency to just go with it and I get more clarity as I go along so that move to London, that was really the only thing I had clarity on. I had gone to London, I visited it and I knew I wanted to live there someday, I fell in love with it. I did everything I could to get back there, even though I didn’t know anyone, I applied for a masters in nonfiction writing. Again, another thing I thought I knew was that I wanted to write a book so followed that and then worked as a nanny, worked as an assistant, all these random jobs and then when I discovered coaching, again, it was like that feeling in my gut like this is that something I’ve been looking for and so I followed that as well.|
|Chris:||All right so you moved to London and I guess you’re starting to develop this dream or the dream is there or you know, but your reality is much different so how do you keep moving forward? What is that look like and I guess the second part of that question would be, was it always that everyday you just knew, “All right, I’m going to do this. I’m going to make it big” or is there, for me, many times, it’s just this idea of 51% like I just know I wanted a little bit more than I don’t than all this stuff telling, “No, stop,” all the other, the fears and everything like that. I’m curious because on paper, it’s really easy to look and be like, “All right, I had this big dream. I made these leaps and then happily ever after.” I want to get into the in between part a little bit.|
|Emily Williams:||Yeah. I mean, it definitely wasn’t always rosy. I knew in my gut that I was meant for something big but of course there were tons of challenges that came up. I mean even living in an apartment the size of a closet, it made me question like, “What in the world am I doing here? I had it really nice back in Ohio, like this is ridiculous.” I know there were times my parents came to visit me and I literally cried every single dinner with them because I was so confused about what I was doing with my life and I had no money, my dad- and he’ll let me borrow money and I remember we sat down on Kensington High Street, in front of this church and he had a little journal there.|
|He’s like, “Let’s map out your plan.” I was like, “I don’t have a plan. I have no clue what I’m doing, you know, nothing seems to be happening.” It wasn’t overnight at all. It was a period of a few years where I was just really confused and at the same time, didn’t have any friends here. I decided to do a ton of online dating which was interesting but yeah, it was like, I was excited to be in London, felt like it wasn’t where it was meant to be but it still sucked a lot, most of the time.|
|Chris:||Yeah, it’s interesting, you say, I was in a holding pattern just waiting for my life to catch up to my dreams. You worked as a nanny, matchmaker, virtual assistant, VA so are you then at the same time learning like online, in taking course to doing different things to help you to I guess, speed up that holding pattern or is it more just, “All right, this is what I’m picturing, this is what I’m picturing.” I’m curious as to how it kind of breaks to, when you’re then starting your business and then things just took off in a big way. You have a seven figure business now so what was that in terms of like the actual steps? What would you do on a daily basis?|
|Obviously not everyday would be the same but when you’re working as these other jobs which weren’t really where obviously your passion was or what you saw, but how do you then keep moving forward? I think, I feel like a lot of people get stuck there. You could have that dream but then all these things, they’re saying like, “This isn’t my reality, maybe I should just give up.” How did you not give up?|
|Emily Williams:||I think I was continuously curious because I felt like there had to be something I was meant to do. I have this feeling in my heart, even I wasn’t there yet, I was going to keep exploring anything that peaked my interest. Looking back, even working as a VA or a matchmaker or whatever, I was always working in small businesses. Looking back, it’s really cool that I got all of that experience. At the time, it wasn’t exactly what I wanted but I have the curiosity to keep following whatever caught my attention and also, I had faith in myself that there had to be something else on its way. I didn’t know much about like visualization or even Minds That Work.|
|I remember I went to see this coach. It’s something called the Happiness Centre in London. I basically Googled how to be happy in London or something crazy like that. She was amazing. She listened to me cry for like five sessions in a row and then finally interrupted me at one point and said, “Emily, did you know you have the power over your thoughts?” It was like this epiphany for me because growing up in catholic school, I didn’t learn about that. First, for whatever reasons, Minds That Work wasn’t really part of it. We learned about prayer but it wasn’t taught that we had power over our thoughts and that your thoughts and words create your reality which is something I live by now.|
|This was a whole new concept for me. After that happened, things did start to shift. I started to focus on things like what I was grateful for, focused on things that I wanted not what I was missing. Little by little, I started to see things unfold that were unfolding in a much more positive way than what I had experienced.|
|Chris:||Now, I’m curious so when you learned that, would you then start to put that as part of like your daily routine or was it more just experimentation like, what were the first things- because I think it is important to really- I’m always curious as what’s like the things that stopped for you that you realized so you have that moment where she said you have power over your thoughts and then you start to realize, so like what happens from there for you and again, just really like diving deep for a moment just from that moment because those are things- moments like that where everything can change but it also, it’s very easy to just have an epiphany and then get back to life. What was the difference there?|
|Emily Williams:||Yeah. I love those question. For me, it started off doing things like I had a Tumblr blog at the time, I don’t know if you ever have one. It was all about gratitude so everyday, I would list out 10 things I was grateful for and you can still see it. I found the blog recently, it’s hilarious because it’s like my cup of Starbucks coffee, that date with that guy yesterday. I just started focusing on the little things because when that coach said that to me, I realized that I had been so focused on the negative, on what I didn’t have, what wasn’t working, what I was still waiting for, the debt, well, that was still accumulating. When you think about it like that, that’s where your focus is so you’re going to get way more of that crap.|
|I had to what I call now, flip the switch on that thinking and focus on the stuff that was happening, that was positive, that was already happening in my life. I also started to get really clear on what it was that I wanted. It would be even as simple as like, I remember, I had this vision board on my wall and I would focus on that or I would start to treat myself, I know for women, sometimes we are really negative to ourselves. I started to treat myself better. I would buy myself flowers or whatever it was. I just started to- I mean to put it simply, just be a more positive person and really believe that when I started thinking more positively, more positive things would come my way.|
|Chris:||I love that so flip the switch. Explain what you mean by that.|
|Emily Williams:||As simple as nothing is working today, I hate my life to everything is working. I love my life, things are happening. I believe that there is always something amazing around the corner so I started like literally training my mind to believe that. It feels weird at first, it feels a bit like a white lie so if you just start to just focus on those little things that are good, that truly are good, I love that cappuccino today or someone smiled at me or whatever, I got a discount at the yoga class then you’ll start to notice that stuff more and more and those positive things will become even greater.|
|Chris:||I like that. It’s a good visual because going from dark to light, just literally flipping the switch, that’s really good. Yeah, I’m a big believer in gratitude and I’m writing gratitude list, I’ve done that, I think everyday for four and half, five years. Yes, so what’s the role that gratitude plays beyond just obviously being grateful for something? Well, how does that then- if I’m somebody sitting there, I’m like, “Why would I sit and write a gratitude list” or what role does that play in success or money or anything like that? Thinking very transactionally, why would I take the time to actually do that?|
|Emily Williams:||It shifts your perspective from lack to abundance. What I mean by that is as simple as when a transaction comes into your email, someone pays for something, I would say thank you for that and I actually wish abundance on that person as well. I really believe the more you focus on what you’re receiving, the more you’re going to receive versus the opposite.|
|Chris:||I love it. That’s like a perfect thing. What if you’re at a point where, let’s say where you were still a virtual assistant and you’re not having money coming in, well maybe other than your weekly or biweekly paycheck but how do you do that with other things? What are some other ways that, let’s say again, you’re at nothing but you have this vision, what are the ways that you could just do that simply?|
|Emily Williams:||Well, you kind of just mentioned it. For a while when I looked at my bank account, it was like I had my hand over my face and it was like I was watching a scary movie or something, every time I logged in because it was scary and I didn’t have much but I did start to focus on those things that I had. I was able to pay for the rent. I was able to pay for this food. I was able to pay for whatever it maybe in my life and so those were positive things that I could focus on. In terms of- I started to see little things happen like I mentioned a few minutes ago where for a while, I didn’t let myself sign up for yoga or anything that was too expensive.|
|There were times where I would get 15% off just randomly or something financial would happen where there would be a discount I didn’t expect or my parents gave me an amazing monetary gift or whatever it is. There is always something that you can find, that’s happening if you’re looking for it or you find money on the street. I mean, it’s endless but you have to like believe that that’s possible for you and believe that there is goodness all around you instead of me, being that Debbie Downer who I was for a while. You have to really shift your focus.|
|Chris:||I love that. You’re starting to believe this. You’re starting to practice it. You’re starting to see things happening and what happens next then for you? How do you find what you now call your true calling from all of this? What’s that progression?|
|Emily Williams:||Yeah. I believe it was totally meant to be. My best friend sent me an email and she just had a link to this website and said I think you’d like this. She and I had talked all the time at that point. She knew that I was searching for my path and was well aware of the things that I liked, what I was interested and it was a link to Marie Forleo’s website. Up until that point, my dad is an entrepreneur. He have had coaches come to the house but they were all in their suits and just carrying their little three ring binders and I thought that’s what a coach was. Then, I saw Marie and she’s like all beautiful with her hair and then she’s doing her hiphop videos and she has B-school.|
|I believe that’s the second moment my whole life changed course. The first moment was when I turned the car around going to Chicago. It was just that aha moment of, “Oh my gosh, like this looks amazing and I’d love to do this.”|
|Chris:||What happens and actually just for the people who don’t know who Marie Forleo is, can you just explain who she is real quick?|
|Emily Williams:||Yeah, definitely. She’s an incredible coach and she runs that program for new and inspiring entrepreneurs called B-school. It’s an eight week training program. She also has MarieTV which is an incredible weekly show where she talks about a variety of subjects to really improve your life and your business and she’s just super inspirational for me.|
|Chris:||Yes, I met her recently at a benefit. She’s exactly how she seems which one of my friends had always told me, Laura Belgray and yeah, she’s wonderful.|
|Emily Williams:||I love that when people totally meet your expectations at first time, yeah.|
|Chris:||Right. You met my expectations. You’ve discovered Marie and then what happens there?|
|Emily Williams:||Yeah, so one of the things I haven’t really mentioned yet that can help people when they’re on that quest for that clarity is really following what makes you jealous. I know for me, I was super jealous of Marie. That was my first instinct, like not just the hair but my gosh, she’s working with these amazing women, what if she already has the whole market covered? What if there is no room for me? I love this video, look at that picture of her. The list was endless. When you start to feel that strong emotion like jealousy or something inside of you that is that strong feeling, I think you have to follow it and that’s what I did when I discovered Marie in coaching. Yeah, I followed that jealousy.|
|Chris:||Well, yeah, let’s talk about that for a moment because I think that that can be very- people could do a lot of different things with that. I’ve written about this before the Envy Trap and, but how you can also use it as kind of a hack. What about- so somebody says, “All right, I’m going to follow my jealousy and I’m just going stalk people online and I’m going to just live my days in anger because I’m not them.”|
|Emily Williams:||Not wallow, follow.|
|Chris:||It seems that’s not what you’re talking about so when you’re following your jealousy what do you do with that so that it doesn’t turn you negative or bitter or whatever?|
|Emily Williams:||Yeah, I think when we try and push it down, that’s when we enter that angry or bitter place. I think with any emotion it’s important to evaluate it and see where it’s coming from. I mean, I love Marie’s hair but I knew that it wasn’t about the hair. She was this so I followed it so what is it that’s making me jealous? What is it that’s appealing about her in terms of what she’s doing in the world? I just started asking myself questions so you can ask yourself questions, you can journal about it, you can have a conversation with someone and it’s not about focusing on the person you’re jealous of, it’s about focusing on why you’re jealous of them. What do they have that you want? What are they doing that you want? What about their life lights you up? Just getting really curious again about what’s going on beneath the surface.|
|Chris:||Okay, great. Then, are those things that you then look to explore more for yourself?|
|Emily Williams:||Yup. Yeah.|
|Chris:||Did you do that? Do you write that stuff down? I’m really curious about the actual details for it because I think it’s really important stuff because jealousy and me, all these things, specially now, I feel like it’s even easier than ever to you have all- social media gives us all this extra ways to be jealous of things because we’re looking at people’s highlight reels most of the time, we’re seeing the best parts of their life, which is fine but it can also be very, very destructive for us people. What do you do when that comes up for you? I’m sure it still happens like there is always- as JC once said there is always another level. There is always, like you get to one thing. What do you do with that so that it becomes a positive thing rather than a negative destructive tool?|
|Emily Williams:||Yeah, I definitely wasn’t always as easy to follow as it is for me now. I mean, there were times where I shut down my Facebook account. I didn’t want to see what friends were doing and so I didn’t always handle it well. In the case of Marie, like I said, for a few, it was probably days maybe even weeks, I thought, “Well, if she’s doing it, does that mean that there is room for me?” I went to a few dark places for sure but now, it’s another case of flipping the switch. You can feel this jealousy like I’m not saying that you push it away but the point is to not make it a bad thing. Just make it a thing that gives you that clarity that you’re looking for.|
|Yeah, so I did do journaling with it. I did talk to friends. I mean now, I can just instinctually be like, “Oh God. That colleague of mine, she got that speaking gig, like that really light something inside of me. I didn’t actually know I wanted to do a speaking gig but wow, that’s great clarity. Thanks for that.” It can be as simple as that and now, even if someone, as I mentioned one of my colleagues gets an incredible opportunity that I want, I’ll like force myself to send a text or send a card or something because I feel like that’s the- someone once told me that. The perfect moment to send that thank you card is when someone shows you what’s possible and does something that lets you know you want to do it too. I always do my best, even if it feels like a struggle now to send that thank you card.|
|Chris:||Right. I’m glad you said that clarified because when some people do send that text and it’s not a nice text though so I’m glad you clarified that it’s a thank you card or a nice text there, something.|
|Emily Williams:||Yeah. I was going to say, the thing is, is when someone does something and it makes you jealous, the way to handle it is not to think that there is no room for you to do it. The way to handle it is to know that because they’ve done it, that means it’s possible for you too, because they’re just another human. It doesn’t mean they’ve taken up the only opportunity, they’re showing you what’s possible and that’s when I realized about Marie and other women who are leaders and who have paved the way in my industry. Thank God for them, they’re showing me what’s possible because I didn’t know.|
|Chris:||Yeah. I love that. There is two things there. One thing that I think is important is that you’re doing that and despite not feeling it 100% and then that’s okay, meaning that it’s almost like you’re conflicted but again, it’s like that this idea of 51% where it just a little bit more, you know what the right action so that you’re taking that, so that becomes more a part of you which I love. I think that’s a really great example. The other thing is that just keeps coming up, so my favorite book is a book called the Science of Getting Rich written by Wallace D. Wattles. In that, he talks about and it’s something that you’ve kind of mentioned a few times, the idea of do you live in a creative or competitive world?|
|If you believe that you live in a competitive world then it’s the idea that there is no- this person getting this means that you can never get that and if you live in a creative world, that means that there is infinite amount of whatever, abundance that this world has, more than any of us could ever, even the most positive person could ever think about. Is that what you’re talking about when you’re saying like, all right, Marie has this business and that means I can never get it or it means that I can also do it as well?|
|Emily Williams:||Exactly. Yeah, I have an abundance mentality around everything. I do my best to have that and believe that- I mean, a simple example from the very beginning of my coaching career is one of the women who I followed and who really showed me what was possible, she was one of my early coaches and told me that it was possible to turn my monthly or my annual salary into my monthly salary. I couldn’t believe that someone could make $30,000 a month. I was really skeptical of that. She’s like, “Well, you know, I do it all the time and these women are able to do it and so why not you?” I really live by that why not you mentality or why not me because if someone is out there doing it, that means it’s possible and it’s possible for you too.|
|There are no difference. It’s obviously amazing podcast like yours and everything else online, there is a wealth of information to show you how to do it. There is really no limit there. There is no limit on clients, there is no limit on online space. There is no limit. There are billions of people in the world and it’s possible for all of us.|
|Chris:||Yeah. It’s really interesting. All right, so you go from just starting to discover this stuff, the progression is happening, you start coaching. One, if I’m a super skeptical person, and I’m sure that you’ve heard this, it’s like, okay, you go from not really having anything to all of a sudden, you’re going to teach me about how I can have something, how I can make more money? How does that actually work? How do you get past that with somebody?|
|Emily Williams:||At the beginning of building my business, I had to decide who I wanted to work with and I knew that much. I basically just pulled from my story and this is what I always encourage my clients to pull from. Think about what you’ve been through and where you’re that half a step or a step ahead of that person you want to serve. I had made it out of my quarter life crisis. I got a bit more clarity. I knew what I wanted to do so I decided I’m going to help that woman who’s in the quarter life crisis and feeling like there isn’t any hope, feeling like she isn’t happy and I’m going to support her. That’s the client I started with so I started off doing more life coaching and working with women in their 20s and 30s in the quarter life crisis space.|
|Then, from there, I started to get a few clients and move forward with my business and I started to see that I was attracting a lot of wannabe entrepreneurs. This surprised me, this wasn’t why I started I Heart My Life. I was really excited about working with them and as I said, I had setup my business. I had my website up. I had my emails going. I had my Facebook ads turned on to the best of my ability. I had done my photo shoot, whatever. I knew a thing or two about the very beginnings of a business and registering your first coaching clients. I could help the woman who only have the idea. She hadn’t even gotten started.|
|She didn’t even know if she could do it. I could help her with the beginning stages. That’s kind of how I’ve looked at this. Where am I a step or two or three or even a half a step ahead of the ideal client, that’s really exciting to me and then I go from there.|
|Chris:||Yeah. I like that a lot. A couple of things, one, first of all, how do you get those first clients then? The initial ones were the ones going through the quarter life crisis, how do they find you? What does that look like?|
|Emily Williams:||Yeah, I think they found me if I’m remembering, I’m still in touch with them through Facebook Groups. Back just a little over three or I think it was, not even three. Facebook Groups were a little bit more lenient. I could post in there and post about my program and be a bit more salesy. I posted about my 90-day program and they found me that way and like I said eventually I turned out Facebook ads. I think I spent $100 a month in the first few months, that was all I could afford. I started to build up my email list and send out emails. At first, I started with 15 friends and family on there and then grew. Yeah, it was mainly through Facebook and through my email list.|
|Chris:||Got you. One of the things that is interesting so it’s almost the way for somebody who doesn’t really understand why you would work with a coach or what you really do, that many times it’s almost a shortcut so you’ve gone through, you’ve done all the hard stuff. You went through the crisis’ the existential crisis, even the getting, having to do a quarter life crisis. For me, I was talking about that so much of what I learned is through lots and lots of pain, unfortunately and I’m always looking for a better way. Is that a way and kind of an easy way for somebody to think about what you’re getting with a coach, is you’re getting that extra step and you’re getting- somebody is going to show you really, really clearly what you should do and you don’t have to do instead of having to be all over the place. Is that a fair example?|
|Emily Williams:||Exactly. Yeah, I mean, before I hired my first coach, I had a period of 54 nos in a row. I had 54 people get on the phone with me. I told them about my program and they all said no. I realized that I was taking the long path and I didn’t know what I was doing and so I needed that help and I always say, you can play the business guessing game or you can hire a coach. I continue to invest in myself and definitely recommend everyone does.|
|Chris:||Two things. How do you call number- and actually, the only job I ever had was initially doing cold calls. How do you get the courage to pick up the phone on number 51 or 52? How do you keep going despite really personal and it sounds like you’re going through your program and it’s a lot different but really personal rejections. How do you deal with rejections then and now, because they still happen.|
|Emily Williams:||Yeah. I mean, then I had no other choice. I didn’t love the job I was in. I had no money. Really, I had this dream and it was all I cared about so what was I going to do and I had someone share a really amazing example with me. She said, it’s like you’re a pot on the stove about to boil and it’s like heating up. You just might not see the bubbles yet but they’re coming. I kept that metaphor in my mind and it sucked, like it was horrible but I knew that I could do this and so, I just had to figure out how. Then, I started to learn more about sales and learn that when someone says, I’d love to but I don’t have the money, I don’t just say, “Okay, thanks for your time. Bye.”|
|There is more of an opportunity there to go deeper. I know what to do now when those objections or whatever come up but at the time, I didn’t have the skills or the confidence but I knew I just had to keep going. There were something again, driving me to keep moving forward. Looking back, I think it’s really amazing that I attracted all those people like I got that many people on the phone. In the moment, it doesn’t feel great but there was something there. There was some sort of interest in what I was doing and it was just a matter of me getting a bit better about sales, more confident and continuing to move forward because I was not going to give up.|
|Chris:||It’s interesting, you say, I didn’t have another choice but you did and a lot of meaning that you go back to what you didn’t love and what you weren’t happy. The reason I bring that up is that that’s an easy really painful other choice. You didn’t see that for yourself but I think and why I want to just state it is I think that people do make that choice because it feels easier. Nobody likes to get rejected. I don’t like getting rejected. It feels safer to go back to what you did and even if you hated it. The way I look at it is it’s really easy to be comfortable, being uncomfortable in like a safe way. It’s really interesting. All right, so then, how do you then make the leap to where you are now?|
|One of the things that I really want to dive into for a little bit is getting into like the money mindset side and all these things. There is so many people have such hang-ups around money specially, money relationships, the finances and romances as we said but I want to focus on the money side. How do you then keep staying, realizing, all right, here is where you talked about before being one or two steps ahead, all right, here is my next step. Here is where I’m at and then really transforming in a way in terms of your messaging and everything like. What is that progression look like?|
|Emily Williams:||Yeah. To answer your Reginal question about how I handle rejection now, it all ties in. You have to have that abundance mentality and that positive money mindset to be able to believe that even if someone says no, there is still another client on the way. There is an unlimited amount of clients out there and people for you to support. It can’t be that that one rejection or however many rejections tells you that you can’t make money or it’s not possible for you. You have to again flip the switch on that thinking and just recognize that just because one person said no, that’s not like the end of your whole business. For me, when I started- yeah.|
|Chris:||Also, just a quick thing and not view, because at the beginning of the interview you talked about feeling shame so I think that’s an easy place to go to that- that’s like my default, would be to go to where this means, I’m a piece of shit or that this means that this one person- like my mind wants me to work this way. If say, I’m giving a speech and there is 100 people in the audience and 99 are super engaged and then there is this one person over there that is like looking bored or looking at you. They could be having a bad day and has nothing to do- but my mind wants me naturally to focus on that person. How do you keep past that so that you don’t feel that shame or the guilt or that you’re a bad person or something like that?|
|Emily Williams:||Yeah. I mean, it’s kind of like wrestling an alligator, you have to continue to pull yourself back and focus on all those people who are clapping for you, instead of that one person.|
|Chris:||You have great analogies. These are easy- because I’m a visual person so I can think about I don’t know, if wrestling an alligator would be that easy but …|
|Emily Williams:||You’re pulling it back. Yeah, a lot of my shame was around my debt as I mentioned so that was one of the first places I started in terms of money minds that work. I started to look at what my debt was from. Me, personally, I mean, I don’t really stay up past 11 o’clock. I’m not like a party or I’m like super boring. I didn’t accumulate all this debt from anything like I guess frivolous for lack of a better word. Not that there is anything wrong with partying but it was because I invested in my education and because I followed my dreams and moved to London and had to pay for rent and everything. I started to kind of let myself off the hook a little bit.|
|If this is really the worse thing I’ve done that I’ve invested in a masters degree and now have this debt, then I think I’m doing okay. I had some phrasing I use to really release that shame and it was as simple as I’m a successful entrepreneur. I’ve chosen to invest in my success and I’m paying it off, like something like that. I wasn’t super successful yet but again I trained myself to believe that that was coming and I also stopped using the word debt because again, I got really focused on what made me feel good and what made me feel ashamed and that word, debt made me feel tons of shame like I’ve done something wrong so I chose to call it investment.|
|Chris:||You’re saying, and I like, this thing is very important about the words that we use and the message. How did you know that that was a word that you just shouldn’t really be using as part of your everyday talk, specially to yourself or other people? What was that process and just know that? How do I know what I should say or shouldn’t say?|
|Emily Williams:||Yeah, there is a few part of my development has been reading and I got really into Danielle LaPorte, The Desire Map and her whole company is built on this question of how do you want to feel. I started to pay attention to what made me feel good and what didn’t specially when it came to language and debt is something I think a lot of 20, 30, 40 somethings, they have been told credit card debt is wrong, student loan debt is wrong. Pay it off as soon as you possibly can so there is this fear inside all of us growing up thinking about debt and how we’re never going to be able to pay it off and so anyway, there was a lot of emotion there.|
|When I realized that it was negative emotion that wasn’t serving me, I chose to like I said, flip the switch and think about it in a more positive way. For me, that meant to think about it like an investment because that’s what it was and to believe that anything was possible and that me bringing in the money to pay it off was going to happen and again, choose to focus on what I desired not on the negative.|
|Chris:||Got you so then you start to focus and you’re changing obviously yourself and how did the next wave of the next level I guess, for lack of a better term, of clients come to you. What does that now look like where you’re taking- because obviously you’re taking a huge internal leaps but then how do you then get that to translate so other people know about that and find you and all of that?|
|Emily Williams:||Yeah. I mean, Money Minds That Work was a complete kind of fluke that I fell into that when I invested in my own coaching program and I had to put it on my husband’s credit card. We didn’t have the money for it but I knew, again, I wasn’t going to play business guessing game. One of the teachings of this particular coach was Money Minds That Work and I had no clue what that meant in the beginning. It really peaked my interest because I had over 100 grand in debt and I needed to do something about it. Yeah, I started to again, just as I had done like Positive Minds That Work earlier that year or the year before, I started to think about what is my relationship with money look like.|
|That’s the way to view it. It is that relationship. If you’re constantly thinking about it as a negative thing or as a burden or just attaching really negative energy to it, then of course it’s always going to be not exactly what you want or not appealing to you. Just like any other relationship would be. Relationship with your partner. If you’re constantly like bitching about them or complaining about them or attaching negative energy to them then the relationship is not going to be healthy. That’s kind of where I started and then I started to pay attention again, like writing things down, what are the thoughts that I think about money. What are the words I use to describe money? What have I’ve been taught about money? What are my fears around money?|
|Getting really curious about what was going on beneath the surface and yeah, when I realized I had a fear of not making money, of never paying off my credit card, again, that’s when I started to flip the switch and create a new script for myself. I can make money. I am paying off this credit card. Money is on it’s way to me. It might sound really simple but those words and that language, that can make all the difference specially in the beginning. You just have to retrain your mind, just like when you’re going to the gym and working out and working out your body and strengthening those muscles in a way that you’re not used to. It’s the same thing when you’re strengthening your mind in this new way of thinking.|
|Chris:||Love that so let’s- because I’ve learned a lot from you based around this, I’d love for you to just walk through how to really just- as you call it, transform your money story, where do we start and where do we go around this? Are we going to just do like power coaching quick session, like a 15 minute thing here, just because I think that you can have such an impact on everyone, not just the people that women entrepreneurs or anything but this is stuff that is again, and it is so simple and for me, the things that are the simplest are always the most effective because my mind wants to complicate a shiny object and it’s never that.|
|I just really think that this would be super helpful so let’s start. All right. Where do we go right from the beginning? Let’s say somebody is super negative money mindset, I have a bad money story and debt and shame and all of these things, where do we go?|
|Emily Williams:||Great. I think throughout this whole part of the call, let’s just think about it like you are trying to transform your body and you’re going to the gym. You’re trying to lose weight, you’re trying to get in better shape and become healthier. It’s the same thing. First of all, you have to know what you want. What do you want in your life? Do you want to make six figures? I mean for me that was a huge milestone. I always wanted to make six figures before my 30th birthday, that was my main thing. I knew I wanted to make six figure, did I know how I was going to do that? No, but the how is not your business. That’s one of my favorite quotes.|
|Don’t worry about the how yet. Just know what you want because specially so many women I meet and work with, they don’t know what they want and if they do, they’re denying it or they’re feeling shame around it. Figure out what you want in terms of finances and your lifestyle and then we go from there.|
|Chris:||When you say figure out what you want, how do you even do that? How do you allow yourself to dream? What does that look like? You say, all right, decide what you want. Does that mean, write it down, get specific? Should you just be super general? Which way do you go?|
|Emily Williams:||Get as specific as possible. I mean, if you want that range rover, you say, I want that black Range Rover with the tan leather interior and you know exactly what the price point is, you know where you’re going to get it, you know what you’re going to look like driving in it so as specific as possible. This is where a lot of emotion comes up. Somebody might have a family belief that Range Rovers are bad or evil or only rich people are evil. If you’re driving a Range Rover then that makes you evil. You’ve got to figure out- when you decide what it is you want and you write it down and you get specific about it, then you check in with the emotion around it.|
|Are you telling yourself, you can’t have this. Okay, well why? Where does that come from? Is that really your belief or is that your dad’s belief? Is that your grandpa’s belief? Continue, again, it’s all about the curiosity like what’s going on beneath the surface here, because we have to know what we’re dealing and what’s really coming up in terms of emotion in order to get to a more positive place around desires and what you want for your life. Does that make sense?|
|Chris:||Yeah, it makes complete sense, perfect. Yeah, and I think that’s such an important, how much of this is just from how we grew up in some belief. I grew up with varied little money and there is a lot of scripts and stories as a family and things like that. It’s very easy now looking back to kind of pinpoint where a lot of that stuff came from. I think the thing, the challenging thing is that for most of us that that’s how we live and that’s the story we tell ourselves over and over and over. It is a very much a work out of trying to change that. I’d like that, it’s a good analogy. It’s also- you could correct me if I’m wrong but it’s not necessarily that that just goes away. That you can start thinking very positively but then if the old belief, scripts, whatever, come back, I’m not necessarily doing anything wrong, am I?|
|Emily Williams:||No. Not at all. I mean, it’s the same thing. Wouldn’t it be amazing if we could work out once and then we’d be good to go? It’s the same thing with Money Minds That Work. It’s a continual process. I mean, just yesterday, I had a full day of calls and I went downstairs and I was like, “God, I really want to order a pizza and make chocolate chip cookies.” That’s not going to serve me and my fitness goals but that’s where the mind goes. We have to continually like be focused on what those desires are, what we want, when we want it to happen and get as specific as possible and retrain the mind to believe that it’s possible and that it’s on its way. That’s the first step.|
|Chris:||Love it. All right, so then where do we go there. I’m starting to get clear. I’m fighting through all this crap in my head about why I can’t have something, what do I do next?|
|Emily Williams:||Yeah, so there is a few things so then we want to come up with that first step to moving forward with it. If you wanted to lose the 20 pounds, you would hire a trainer or you would join a gym or whatever it would be to give you that accountability. I know that really shifted everything for me to have those people who believed in me and we’re out there doing what I wanted to do. There is a recent study that I read about that said even if you’re sitting next to someone at dinner who’s overeating, you’re more likely to overeat. Even if you don’t even know them. It’s the same thing with your fitness or in this case, the Money Minds That Work.|
|Surround yourself with those people who have what you want and know how to make it happen. Again, you don’t need to know all the details this second but at least get in their presence and come up with that first step which in my opinion is normally working with someone or even picking up a book or something that shows you how to do or how to take that first step towards what it is you want.|
|Chris:||Yeah. The Jim Rohn quote of, you’re the average of the five people around the most.|
|Chris:||I’m glad also that you mentioned though, pick up a book because somebody says, like I’m in the middle of nowhere there, everyone around. It’s all lack everywhere that I am, what do I do then? Yeah, a book or being online and getting it right, when you’re saying surround yourself, it’s not necessarily that you have to all of a sudden go to San Francisco or New York City.|
|Emily Williams:||Exactly, yeah.|
|Emily Williams:||Yeah or even a podcast like this or watching some sort of video clip. I mean, for me, it’s just simple- if I’m having a day where I really want to immerse myself in something positive, I just like Google Oprah videos and I just click play. It doesn’t have to be anything expensive or intricate. It’s just getting yourself that support you need to take that first step.|
|Chris:||Got you. One thing that I read, you said, make decisions from where you want to be, not from where you are now. First if you could just explain that and then also how do you- somebody who looks at their current circumstances and they’re like how can I, let’s say they’re in lots of debt or everything is really bad, they’re in really rough point of their life. How they can make a decision based on where they see themselves rather than what their reality is right now?|
|Emily Williams:||Yeah. That’s an awesome question. I mean, that’s what I had to do. I had to decide that I was going to be in a different place. I didn’t know exactly when but this $100,000 in credit card debt or whatever it was in debt, it wasn’t going to be my reality and you just have to- again, I think it comes back to faith like knowing that because someone is out there doing it, that means that you can do it too. We’ve already talked about that, you can do it. You just have to take that first step and start thinking like, yeah, this is my current reality now. This is my family history but it doesn’t mean that’s an indication of my future. We have to realize that often times the mind lies to us.|
|It pulls from the past and it pulls from the present to predict the future. That’s not actually the reality like you’re capable of so much more than you know. You just have to believe that and you have to, like I said, just take that first step and it does all become easier after that, after you start to build the momentum but you have to take that first step. Just like in the morning when you don’t want to go to the gym, you have to think about, “Okay, well, I want that bikini body or I want to be healthier for my kids” or whatever the goal is and you just have to put on your tennis shoes.|
|Do that first thing then you’re much more likely to go out the door, you’re much more likely to get in your car and go to the gym and get on the treadmill but it starts with that first step, envisioning what it is that you are working towards.|
|Chris:||I love that and I’m glad that you broke it down with that because I think that a lot of times that first step can- it’s almost that you’re supposed to be that you are- let’s say that you are not making any money and you’re all of a sudden a multi-millionaire making decisions as a multi-millionaire. It doesn’t necessarily have to be that. It can just be doing something like five minutes of learning about something or something to that effect, correct?|
|Emily Williams:||Correct. Yeah, it all builds on each other and I think when we start comparing and compare our chapter one to someone’s chapter 20, that’s where that comparison hangover sets in and we think it’s supposed to happen overnight. One of my favorite quotes by Robin Sharma, who’s an incredible success coaches, that all change is hard at first, messy in the middle and beautiful at the end. When you expect that it might be a little bit like wrestling that alligator, it probably will, it probably won’t feel natural because your mind wants to take you to the default. Your mind isn’t used to this new way of thinking. Just expect that and in my opinion when there is that element of surprise that’s taken away and you expect that it might feel a little difficult and uncomfortable, then it makes it a bit easier.|
|Chris:||Got you. What about though if you have like a victim mentality? How do you get past that? I know that that’s something that you work on but what is that even mean specially around money mindset and how do you move past it?|
|Emily Williams:||Yeah. The victim mentality, that’s a juicy one. I have definitely had that tendency as well when I moved to London and I remember there was, I don’t think I’ve ever even shared this but there is this one night where this guy above me threw up outside the window and his vomit blew into my bedroom and landed on my bed. In that moment, you feel like a victim and you kind of, all right. Living this closet sized plot, having all this crap happen to me and not being in jobs that I like, all that stuff, you start to feel sorry for yourself. Again, that’s where that Minds That Work comes in and you have to realize that, or believe and have the faith that there is something better on its way and you’re not going to let life keep you in this place.|
|You’re destined for way more than that and drop the, “I’m sorry for myself. This can never happen. This can never be me” and believe again, not other people are out there doing what you want to do and so it’s possible for you. When we make ourselves a victim and really take the choice out of our life, we’re going to stay in the same place. I know for me sometimes, I have so much on my calendar and we’re doing all this stuff and I’m like, “Oh, I just wish it was easier or I wish, I wasn’t so busy and then I’d bring myself back to the present moment and I’m like, “I chose this. I chose to do it this way.”|
|“I’m not a victim. I’m in choice here and I get to decide how this moment goes and the next moment and the next day and so forth.” Just because my past has been what it’s been that doesn’t mean that my future is going to be the same.”|
|Chris:||I love that. It’s interesting visual when you’re saying it, I know that there is something better coming for me, as you’re like seeing vomit coming through. I guess the opposite, we could be seeing like a bag of money being dropped next time and coming through your window. That’s a really good juxtaposition. What about living as if? You talked about this before and you shared with me separately a great example but how do you start living as if and getting past like the idea that no, I can’t do this. That’s only for certain types of people or how do you change that?|
|Emily Williams:||Yeah. I love this question. This is really the next step in the process. Start to think about how you want to show up in the world and so again, if you’re wanting to lose weight, you start to live as if by, I don’t know, going to the store and trying on or looking at the clothes that you’re looking to fit into. Just visualizing yourself as your, I don’t know if you’re recording a video or something, you look the way you want to look. There is no shame there or you’re in the picture with your kids and you’re wearing a bikini on the beach for the first time. Something like that, like starting to visualize that and live- and what I mean by live as if, is to live the life that you want right now.|
|For a lot of people, when it comes to money, they think that I mean that they have to go and spend like their whole 401K and blow a lot of money but that’s not what I’m talking about here. I’m talking about thinking again about what it is that you want and the life that you want and starting to pick small ways to stop into that now. Just really simple examples of what I did. When I was in London, I didn’t tip. I figured I didn’t have any money myself and so why was I going to tip somebody else which is horrible. What I started to realize was that’s not how I wanted my life to be. I wanted to be generous. I started to, even just at Starbucks, give an extra pound or an extra dollar to the barista.|
|Little things like that. I started to take a taxi instead of riding the bus or started going to the beautiful stores that I wanted to shop in and just trying on the clothes. All those little stops to get you into the mindset of the person that has the life that you want and really start to feel how it would feel to be in that space versus the person who is lacking or the person who’s that Debbie Downer or just that victim mentality.|
|Chris:||Yeah. I like the example a lot of going and trying on clothes at a fancy store or something like that and I think that’s a really powerful one because it’s almost that you’re right there like kind of crushing the whole idea that no, this isn’t for me because if you are acting- so I live in New York City, on Upper West Side and many times, well, I’ll never carry ID around, I’ll go into, and I shouldn’t really say this, but any building or if I have a meeting …|
|Emily Williams:||I heard that on your other podcast. I was like what is happening?|
|Chris:||Yeah. It’s an experiment that I always do and my wife and I talk about it or I won’t carry money around sometimes just to see who will let me just get whatever I want. It’s a really insane thing because I never have had a problem but I think it’s just because I have this belief or a lot of times, it was always the opposite like I didn’t- even the neighborhood I live in now, like I would have been- when I come in here as a kid like I would have been very like scared, wouldn’t go into a store, anything like that. How do you get past that like you to go, you have no money and you’re going into a store that sells a thousand dollar shirt and feeling like, “Okay, I can go in here.”|
|“I can try stuff on like nothing bad is going to happen. It’s going to be good.” How do you even get that courage or the confidence to just even try that? I’d love for you to give people like a challenge around that or an experiment that they could do because I think it’s such a great- because you see that just every person working there is a normal person. Every person that is buying stuff in there is a normal person and like, who the hell cares, if they give you some weird look or whatever. What would you do around that because I really like that.|
|Emily Williams:||I remember a coach telling me this once that everyone thinks that the designer stores are just for celebrities or I don’t know, kings and queens but that’s so not the case because it’s there, it’s possible for you too. Again, it’s that whole element of why not me? Even when we host events in London and Paris and I have so many clients that they don’t have password, they’ve never been overseas and they’re like, “Can I go to Paris? Is that really possible for me?” I try and explain, “I’ve gone to Paris a bunch of times now and it’s not like kings and queens walking around. It’s normal people. It’s there for the taking, you can do it too.”|
|Really again, because other people are doing it, it means it’s possible for you. Whether it’s going into the store and trying on the clothes or test driving the car, just do it. There is a phrase that one of my clients taught me. It’s called JFDI, Just F*ing Do It. I use that all the time. Feel the fear and do it anyway. Your fear is not telling you that you need to put on the brakes. Most of the time, it’s telling you need to step on the gas and that’s Elizabeth Gilbert and I love that.|
|Emily Williams:||If there is fear, insecurity or whatever, just again, focus on what you want and the life that you want and take that little step or that big step, whatever it is towards it and yeah, the challenge, I would say is whatever it is you want, that dream trip around the world, that beautiful wardrobe, that car, go and look at- plan the trip in your mind, like literally Google the flights, plan where you’re going to stay, what the hotel is, what are you going to do when you’re there? If you want to clothes, go into the store, try on the clothes, make an afternoon of it. If you want the car, test drive the car.|
|Chris:||I love that. Yeah, I’d love for people to- people who are listening to try something so whether it’s going and test driving car, take a picture, send it to us, upload it or going into a store like whatever and wherever you are, whatever like the something that you’ve kind of thought is out of your reach, go in, what would you say to do? Go in, try something on, do some, take a picture and send it to us, upload it like really start to live and put yourself in there.|
|Emily Williams:||I remember one, the simplest ones for me, like I used to want to go to all these restaurants in London but I didn’t have the money and so, to save money, I would have a glass of wine in my apartment before going out so that I didn’t have to buy the wine. One of the simplest things my husband and I did was start to have a glass of wine at dinner and realized that it did not break the bank, we were not destined to it. It was really lovely and just continually to stop into that life that you want and live as if and it can be something small at first and it’s still, equally it’s amazing.|
|Chris:||I love that. What about your daily money ritual. It’s all good to have the big changes and start to have the big beliefs in all of this and starting to change your thinking but again, getting back to just like going to wanting to get in shape or stay in shape or be healthy. It’s not just a matter of having that belief and going for that and then doing it a bit. It’s how you eat, it’s how the people you’re around, not smoking, going to the gym, all these different things. Is it the same with money and in terms of what you have to do on like a daily, weekly, monthly, yearly basis?|
|Emily Williams:||Yeah, definitely. Again, it’s more than positive thinking. It’s about retraining your mind and so I have simple things that I do and I will say, when I was really starting out it was like dropping those 10 pounds. It wasn’t like maintenance work. Now, I like to think about the work that I did back then as like this back up generator that kicks in when I need it because I’ve done that work and I’m stronger in that area. I strengthened those muscles and so it’s not like I’m starting from scratch with like a weak arm. I have those muscles there but in the beginning, it can feel really strange and it can feel- yeah, you’re like stirring things up.|
|You’re stirring up that muddy water and bringing stuff to the surface and it’s not always, always comfortable but some of the simplest things are to again, think about flipping the switch. What are those negative money beliefs that you have. Maybe I can’t make money or success isn’t possible for me or I never have enough money. For me that was a big one. I never have enough money. I flipped it so I always have enough money for all my desires and so I would say that constantly over and over and over in my mind throughout the day. I had screensavers on my phone that said that. I had alarms that popped up on my phone. I had Post-It notes and so I was really retraining myself to go from that place of lack to that place of positivity.|
|Chris:||What do you do today, tomorrow? What will you do on a daily basis now? What is your money rituals look like? You’ve made it, you got past the six figures, seven figures. It’s easy for our minds to then said, “All right, we can kind of- I don’t really have to do as much anymore. Everything is working great. Let me stop doing that. Let me stop doing this.” What do you do on a daily basis now? What is your money rituals look like?|
|Emily Williams:||Yeah. I look at my bank account every single day and again, it comes back to gratitude. Whatever the number is, feeling grateful and I know that might sound easy to someone listening now, I have a seven figure business but back when I first started this work and was in the same places as everyone is, that it wasn’t easy to feel grateful for what I was able to pay for in that moment. Again, I train myself to show gratitude no matter what that number was and so now, I’m able to do that now and it’s really important to me so much so that it feels weird if I don’t look at my bank account everyday. That’s one thing and just showing gratitude and also being- continuing to look at it as a relationship with money, just as I would pay attention to my health or my fitness.|
|I need to pay attention to the money that’s coming in and going out. Sometimes I hear people say that they don’t look at their bank account and I really think that’s one of the main places to start. Get real about your finances and your money and know what’s coming in and going out. Again, have that positivity surrounding every single transaction. That’s one thing. Another thing is again, all of the, what I call money mantra so I always have enough money for all my desires or whatever it is and I always have a certain goal that I’m focused on around money. This is what I did in the beginning too, as I was building momentum. Do you want to sign up that first client?|
|Do you want to pay off that one credit card ? Do you want to invest in that dream trip? What is that first goal that you’re looking to achieve. What’s the timeframe and really set your mind on it. I’ll say, I see $20,000 coming in for this program or I see 15 clients signing up and they’re amazing or whatever that vision is and just repeating that to myself. Just believing that it’s on its way. This is an old interview but Jim Carrey on Oprah talked about how he used to go up to mall hall and drive, you know the story and take a look and envision himself doing what he wanted to do and being in these movies and even wrote a check to himself and put a timeframe on it. That’s what I’m talking about and then having the self-belief to know that it’s possible for you.|
|Chris:||Yeah. I think it was a check for 10 million dollars and then it was dated for Thanksgiving, I forgot the year, like ’96 or five and he got I think Dumb and Dumber because like at that time, which was a crazy- it was like a 10 million dollar which was like the highest comedy pay day or something and yeah, that’s a lot of fun.|
|Emily Williams:||Yeah, focusing on what it is that’s like the next stop for me or that next milestone. Also, being aware of like what it takes to live the life that I want and have the business that I want. What is that sort of baseline amount? What it comes down to is really being in relationship with my money and continuing those positive thoughts around money and that there always is enough for- there is always enough for all of my desires and for all of my dreams. Yeah, just remaining in that positive space and it’s not always easy, like you said, with new levels- I have a client that says new levels, new devils. I don’t know how you feel about that one but it kind of explains it.|
|Chris:||More money, more problems.|
|Emily Williams:||Yeah. New limits or new upper limits will come up or a new money mindset and you didn’t even know you had will come to the surface. Getting clear about what’s going on, like I said, journaling about it, talking to a coach, talking to a friend, getting some support, reading a book, just important to have that awareness and realize what might be stopping you from moving forward or hindering you and living your dreams.|
|Chris:||How important is this stuff that we’re putting into our minds? Right now, it’s really easy, I guess always but specially now with everything going on in the world, politically, the news all this like how do you view that stuff coming in on a daily basis and what’s your rituals around that or your own habit?|
|Emily Williams:||I recently read, this is another Robin Sharma thing from The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari. It’s a great book and he, in it, one of the characters says, “You cannot afford the luxury of one negative thought.” I never thought about it like that but that’s just like hit me, like you can’t even afford to have one negative thought. That’s how important your thinking is, in terms of your success and living the life that you want. I believe just like putting food in your body, you have to really pay attention to what you’re putting into your mind and a lot of what we’re hearing right now is really negative so I’ll be honest, I am not really indulging in that. I don’t believe that serves me. I’m more focused on what I can do to impact the world than getting sucked in to all the negativity and feeding myself that stuff.|
|Chris:||Great. One clarification with that and I realized it’s a book but we can’t afford one negative thought so the only issue I would have is that a negative thought, if I’ve been thinking very negatively for 30, 40 years, that’s going to be the norm. Is it more about indulging a negative thought or allowing others come in just- the only reason I want to clarify is that, its very easy for somebody to think they’re doing something wrong if they do have a negative thought. The way I was looking at it is that the negative thought that that’s natural. It’s what do I do next? Do I indulge it? Do I take action on that? Do I try to flip the switch as you say? I just want to clarify that.|
|Emily Williams:||I love this. Yeah. Great point because we’re humans so we’re going to have negative thoughts. You can’t really stop the negative thoughts from coming in but like you said, it’s what you do with them and whether you choose to believe them. If you think about it, like it’s almost like another person or a little voice coming in or this negative playlist that you’ve had going on automatic for years. It’s not really the core of who you are and you have a choice to believe it or to say, “You know what, I’m cool, not going to entertain that.” Again, wrestle that alligator the other way.|
|Chris:||I like that. It’s another good analogy I love, the negative playlist because we have our greatest hits so I’m too old, too young, too dumb, to smart, whatever it is.|
|Emily Williams:||On repeat.|
|Chris:||Yeah. Repeat, yeah, exactly so it’s a great way so you just create a new playlist, I like that a lot. Finally, one thing that I really like and if you can just dive into for a moment is you’re scared of rich philosophy. This whole idea right there. If you can just explain that, that would be great.|
|Emily Williams:||Yeah, definitely. This is another thing. Fear will come up and with everything we’re talking about, it’s not about making yourself wrong for these emotions, for the jealousy or the fear or the negative thoughts but it’s realizing that they don’t control you or dictate your future. For me, one of my other favorite quotes from The Big Leap by Gay Hendricks is that fear is just excitement without breath. Again, fear can be that indication that you’re about to do something really different or something exciting or something outside the box. At this point in my life and my business, I’ve made peace with fear and it actually excites me but there was a time where fear would, like I said earlier, make me put on the brakes and not move forward.|
|What I really tell my clients is you have a decision, you can either be scared or rich. What that means is you can replace rich with anything, with happy, with successful or whatever it maybe for you. Fear stops us from so many things. It stops us from moving forward with our dreams. It stops us from asking for that raise or having that tough conversation and rebuilding that relationship, whatever it maybe, it stops us from what we want and often times, fear isn’t real. If I had listened to my fear, I would not be where I am today.|
|I’d be that same girl on that closet sized apartment because it would have said, “Oh What if you can’t do this, what if you don’t make any money, what if no one likes you,” all the what ifs. I decided I wasn’t going to listen to that and realized that my desires were bigger than my fear and way more important and so I chose to prioritize that.|
|Chris:||I love that. A couple of last questions. I wasn’t even going to ask you about books because you mentioned a bunch but I’m very curious more for myself so what are the books that had the greatest impact on you? This is more just so that I can fill up my own reading list and that because you did mention a lot and there is some crossover but others that I haven’t read. What books had the greatest impact on your life and where you are now?|
|Emily Williams:||Elizabeth Gilbert for sure. I love Big Magic. I love Eat, Pray, Love. I know those are a bit more girly. I love- I mean, Brendon Burchard is one of my mentors. I love The Motivation Manifesto and The Charge, those are amazing. Definitely Think and Grow Rich. How Rich People Think by Steve Siebold. That’s one of my favorites. Then, I love Marie Forleo’s book, I’m drawing a blank at the moment.|
|Chris:||That’s okay, you’ve done it perfectly. That’s enough.|
|Emily Williams:||The Big Leap for sure. That was my first introduction into upper limits and all of that. That’s a game changer. I think everyone should read that.|
|Chris:||What do you think most often prevents people from becoming successful and living up to their potential?|
|Emily Williams:||Fear, for sure. Fear and not believing it’s possible for them. Once you have that self-belief and even if it’s just a little bit, you need to take that and just go with it. Take that first step and again, like I said, use that why not me technique. If someone is out there doing it then really, I mean, believe that it’s possible for you. It makes me so sad to see people not living the life that they want because they believe it’s not possible for them. It’s there for the taking, you just have to move past that fear and take that first step.|
|Chris:||Where could people go to learn more about you?|
|Emily Williams:||My website is iheartmylife.com and we have lots of amazing live programs. We also have self-study, we also have a monthly program, that’s really affordable that you can get two trainings per month so yeah, iheartmylife.com.|
|Chris:||Beautiful. Thank you so much. This was amazing. I learned so much and I feel motivated for today. My money mindset feels good, I’m going to go make it happen but Emily, thank you. This was wonderful and I think for me at least, you really broke so many things down and really showed the value of working with somebody, getting an outside perspective, getting that headstart or that up level really quickly and this is I think the best possible way to show that, is what you just did so thank you so much.|
|Emily Williams:||Thank you, Chris. It’s been amazing.|
|Chris:||Awesome. All right.|
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